"Spoiling is a very expressive word, and sadly full of meaning. Now it is the shortest way to spoil children to let them have their own way,--to allow them to do wrong and not to punish them for it. Believe me, you must not do it, whatever pain it may cost you unless you wish to ruin your children's souls...
"Fathers and mothers, I tell you plainly, if you never punish your children when they are in fault, you are doing them a grievous wrong. I warn you, this is the rock on which the saints of God, in ever age, have only too frequently made shipwreck...
"You must not give way to every wish and caprice of your child's mind, however much you may love him. You must not let him suppose his will is to be everything, and that he has only to desire a thing and it will be done. Do not, I pray you, make your children idols, lest God should take them away, and break your idol, just to convince you of your folly...
"Learn to say 'No' to your children. Show them you are able to refuse whatever you think is not fit for them. Show them you are ready to punish disobedience, and that when you speak of punishment, you are not only ready to threaten, but also to perform...
"Reader, if there be any point which deserves your attention, believe me, it is this one. It is one that will give you trouble, I know. But if you do not take trouble with your children when they are young, they will give you trouble when they are old. Choose which you prefer."
~ From The Duties of Parents, J. C. Ryle (See our first post in this series)
[Obviously, I have left out many points from this section. I encourage you dear parents to read them. Read the Scriptures on correction that Mr. Ryle lays out before us; read the woes of Eli and David he sets before us as warnings. Read his many words about taking our tenderness and affection for our children too far. In my opinion, this is the most important section in the book and as he said, it's the area of parenting that all too many have "made shipwreck. And may God help us all. ~ mr]
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